A true innocent bystander, plantie has been with our family for about two years now. Maybe a little more than that. By no means do I have a green thumb (evidenced by the fact that I don’t know the name of the specie to share with you here and now), but I have certainly done my utmost for the plant. I have watered it pretty regularly, and have even checked to ensure that it was getting enough sunlight. HEY, that’s way better than when I was in grad school and completely unaware that lack of sunlight was the leading cause of the death of the plant I had then. So, I’d say change has happened to me. As Olaf from Frozen would add, “all good things, all good things.”

Back to what I was saying. So I’ve done everything right, bar speaking to the actual plant. By my calculations then, plantie should not only be living and breathing, but should be full-on thriving. Problem is, I find that it has only managed to limp along these two years it’s been part of our family. Ok, fine. Let me just be blunt: friends, I don’t actually know why plantie still lives.

That’s off my chest. But, I am glad for its resilience. Speaking of…

Enter little person.

Ever since said child joined our fam, I had occasional moments when I wondered just how plantie would fare under her toddlerhoodness. I make up words for a living, so don’t worry if that one is new to you. Anyway, I needn’t wonder any more. Plantie has borne the brunt of her exploratory skills. She puts Dora the Explorer to shame. Plantie has been pulled on, “ran through”, has had some of its leaves split in two, and, in short, has been brought several steps closer to meeting its Maker. In fact, it seems the sole purpose for her existence in plantie’s life is to dare it to remain alive. I usually watch in absolute horror.

Ok, let me be frank again: I’m not good at that watching bit. I more like scream, freak out several times a day, and oh so often beg her to leave plantie be. It’s almost as though I measure my ability as a mother (the nurturing bit) by my ability to keep plantie alive.

As in, it just has to work. Has to. Guys, if I can get plantie to remain a part of the family till, say, her college graduation day, heck, I’d need to graduate myself. The gift cards, money, cuddly toy gifts, everything, y’all. I’d deserve it. 🙂

But, I’m dreaming. For now, I must be off to stop her from causing the plant to actually lose its will to live.

All in a day’s job.

#whywedonthavepets

Any of you relate? At least with the lack of green thumb bit? Lol

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