This is for those of you out there who get it. When nothing in life makes sense. When you’ve hit so many brick walls that you wonder if there’s life beyond those walls. If there is an “outside the wall” reality. When you’ve cried out to God so much for help that you feel like your soul is hoarse. Can He not hear?
This is probably the first time you’ve understood many of David’s psalms. Before this, you just thought of him as a weepy bipolar human being who had issues. Now, you just see him as a person like you who had issues. Lots of them. And didn’t know where else to turn except to the face of God. Because David recognized that no human could actually help him the way he needed to be helped.
Well, I feel like I’m walking in that journey right now. This season has not made sense to me. It did a few months ago, and simply seemed like a trial we had to pass through to grow. Now, on the other hand, I’ve had to wonder if we made up those explanations to make the experiences make sense. It’s just truly been a hard and confusing season. It has affected our thinking, behavior, and therefore, marriage. I am usually able to weather many storms if I can see us working our way out, if I can actually see or imagine a way out of it.
So again, I ask: what happens if you have come to a point of wondering whether there’s life beyond those brick walls? Or instead, what happens when you’re calmer and realize that there HAS to be life beyond the walls, but you now wonder how to or if it is even possible to surmount the walls? I’m talking about when you’ve stood on the Word of God plenty and consistently, when you’ve rebuked the devil, when you’ve been doing what you sensed the Lord directed you to do, when you’re working physically at trying to get yourself out of the mess…and still. You’re there. You feel stuck. Your theology is out the window and your faith is struggling to hang on. Everything looks dark as night.
Have I explained the scenario well? This is not an attempt to be dramatic or to overemphasize stuff to get your attention. This.is.life. Pluuus, I’m convinced that I’m not the only one who’s been through this. There are people who have gone through worse seasons and have had to endure those seasons for years (!). What about Job in the Bible? What then? How is one really to process this stuff?
With all that confusion, you then hear Him say, “rest”. And you’re like: whaaa…? That seems like the opposite thing that you want to (or can!) do in this time. In the dire straits you’re in, striving is the only things that makes sense to do. “Rest”. You reason: If I spend time resting, something else will suffer. “Rest”. What does rest mean anyway? I can’t just lay around and expect things to work out! “Rest”. I don’t even have peace, so when I try to sit still, my heart and mind are racing! “Rest”.
Fine. I will rest. I will lean in to You, just sit there with You, because I recognize that it means a lot to You, will benefit me, and because according to your promise, in resting is my salvation.
My friends, take the time to rest, in the busyness of this season. Trust, and…rest.