I was struck recently by what I’m about to share here. I was hearing it said as pertains to dealing with kids, but, something about it made total sense in terms of dealing with human beings in general.
What I heard was this: When a child’s love tank is full, you’ll find that it is easy to discipline them. Whassat now? Well, the statement was made based on a discussion about the five love languages. With kids, yes you have to figure out what a particular child’s love language is, and still ensure you deliver on all the other love languages. One must keep the child balanced. In doing that, a child feels totally swathed in love, i.e., his/her “love tank is full”. In that state, any form of correction you need to make to him or her comes more naturally. Sound like it could apply to you also as a grownup? I think so.
Anyway, I decided to test out what I’d heard. I loved on and loved on my toddler. Engulfed her in love, and especially in what she’s seemed to be communicating to be her primary love language. Having done all that, whenever I needed her attention, or needed her to stop what negative thing she was doing, oh my! Just like that. Instant behavior change. No fuss, no shrills. She was like putty in my hands. She would just “flow” with me, and changes were more easily accepted by her. WOW! Literally, wow. Why hadn’t I thought of this?
Then I considered myself. Of couuuurse. It makes total sense. I am more ready to handle criticism or rebuke when my own sense of self has been buoyed by an overflow of love. In short, when my own love tank is full.
And that’s it. That’s what I wanted to share. What does this all mean? Well, I heard an important statement this past weekend from one of the pastors at our church: “Understanding is the basis of care”. So, what I’ve shared here may not only help you understand yourself, but it should more importantly help you and I love others better. Not simply love them more, but love them in a way that makes sense to them. You are better able to take care of something or someone you understand.
Above all, I guess I’d advise you keep this all in mind before you need to bring any needful criticism to your partner, coworker, friend, enemy, etc. Lol. Or all of the above.
Love. Love, and love some more.
Have you experienced what I’m talking about in your own life? Do you do better with criticism when feeling loved/secure? Share below!